Can you accept a compliment?

person Posted By: D a la mode list In: Category 1 access_time On: comment Comment: 0 favorite Hit: 789

In order to give a sincere compliment you need to open your eyes and notice positive attributes in other people. The more you concentrate on good things in life the more of them you will see and the more of them you will attract- where your focus goes your energy flows. Now let’s talk about accepting compliments. As it turns out for most women accepting compliments is much harder than giving them

Hello Ladies,

Last week we wrote a blog about Gratitude and the benefits of concentrating on the positive things in life to your appearance. In that blog, we stated that giving compliments is a great way to practice gratitude. In order to give a sincere compliment, you need to open your eyes and notice positive attributes in other people. The more you concentrate on good things in life the more of them you will see and the more of them you will attract- where your focus goes your energy flows. Happy people attract other happy people, they attract more positive experiences such as friendships, relationships, invitations, and promotions so there are true benefits in being the one who notices and gives sincere compliments. Now let’s talk about accepting compliments. As it turns out for most women accepting compliments is much harder than giving them. Just take a moment and think about how you accept compliments.

Friend: Your hair looks nice, did you get it done?

You: Thanks, but this is not how I wanted it done. It looks awful

Friend: Nice dress!

You: This old thing? Got it on sale for €2

Friend: Nice shoes

You: Oh, they are only cheap things and they sometimes rub my heels

Friend: You did a great job!

You: It’s nothing, anyone can do it

Friend: Your kids are so good

You: You should see them at bedtime!

Does that sound familiar?????????

We usually think that people are ‘only saying it to be nice’ or that we don’t actually deserve it or that negating the compliment (even when it is well deserved) is the only appropriate and acceptable response. We are so worried about coming across as vain or self-obsessed that we constantly diminish every aspect of our lives and then we wonder why people mistreat us or overlook us for promotions.  In many cases rejecting compliments have been ingrained in us since early childhood and can be really difficult to stop but it is well worth it.

First of all, compliments are not an entitlement, people are not obligated to give you compliments so if they go into the effort of pointing out something nice about you or about your work it is incredibly rude to reject it.

Second, a compliment is the giver's opinion and they choose to share it, don’t you think it’s quite rude for you to start arguing with them and start listing out ‘evidence’ of why they are wrong?

Gracefully accepting a compliment is quite a regal quality or even skill. You would never hear any royal throwing a compliment back into the givers face. They thank sweetly and either give a compliment in return or move on in the conversation. Knowing the importance royals place on following the etiquette one could argue that this is the only appropriate way to respond to a compliment. So how can we become more regal?

1.       Say thank you and shut up!

Try that as a challenge for yourself for a few weeks. Every time someone gives you a compliment just say ‘Thank you’ and SHUT UP! No negative come back, no arguing to prove that it's not true. I am not suggesting you grow a giant head and start telling everyone how amazing you are and how everyone should do what you do, wear what you wear and be like you are. Simply accept a token of peoples appreciate with a friendly smile and move on

2.       Follow up with something positive or give a compliment in return

If you feel uncomfortable with just a simple ‘Thank you’ and you cannot think of a way to move the conversation along then follow up with something simple, humble but POSITIVE. For e.g.

Friend: I love your dress

You: Thank you, I like it too OR Thank you, your dress is lovely too.

 

Friend: your hair looks nice. Did you get it done?

You: Yes I did. It’s nice to freshen up

 

So why am I talking about accepting compliments in the first place? Why is it important? As I mentioned earlier compliments are not obligatory, they are little gestures of gratitude or admiration people give us, just like flowers or little token gift. Would you reject the last two? You wouldn’t!

Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not it doesn’t matter. The truth is by rejecting compliments you are sending out the message to the people around you (and the universe) that you are not worth the compliments or anything else good in this world. If nothing you do is worth praise then it is not worth any rewards either. Your effort in your appearance, your effort in your work- if it is all nothing you get nothing in return. If you continue telling people that the things you do are not worthy or impressive or even good then eventually they will start to believe you. More importantly than that- you will start to believe it too. Too many women have been raised to be subservient and ask for nothing in return, to be there to look after everyone, to sacrifice ourselves for our kids, husbands, etc. but your opinion of you is the most important thing in the world. Your opinion of you will determine everything- your happiness and your success- and when you continually reject compliments and praise from other people you are constantly reaffirming that you aren’t special and that aren’t worthy. So stop it right now!!!!!!!!  

Comments

Leave your comment

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday January February March April May June July August September October November December