How STYLE can help you through the 3 P's- Puberty, Post-partum and Peri-menopause
Most women will go through 3 major changes in their life- Puberty, Post-partum and Peri-menopause. They are called the 3P's and are considered to be more significant than any other changes we experience because they affect so many many aspects of our identity as a woman- our bodies, our feelings (hormones) and our ability to procreate. They also regularly coincide with changes such as new life stage, children being born or leaving home, starting new careers or re-tiring, moving to a new age group etc... which makes for a hell of turmoil, both physically and emotionally. Luckily I have discovered that my style coaching can be unbelievably helpful to women going through such times by giving them focus, empowerment and an opportunity to make it into something they are in control of and that is incredibly positive.
Most people go through many changes in the course of their lives. One could say that the only thing that’s constant is the fact that life is always changing. We grow up, mature, try different boyfriends, change our friends, test different career paths, relocate, get bigger and get smaller. However the 3 p’s (puberty, post-partum and peri-menopause) include a triple whammy of changes- our bodies change, our hormones change and our status/age group changes. This can have a compound effect on how we see and feel about ourselves. Up to that point in our lives we spend years getting comfortable with who we are and how we look. Most of us become quite good in dressing ourselves in a way that suits our bodies, represent what we do and how we live our lives. When one of the three P’s hit our feelings get muddled by hormonal changes, our bodies change (changes manifest in change in size, shape, change in skin complexion and condition of our hair) and we find ourselves in a position where none of our old clothes fit us, suit us or make us feel good. These can be very difficult times emotionally and mentally- if our old appearance is gone, our old clothes no longer work for us and we feel completely different now to what we are used to feeling about ourselves– THEN WHO THE HELL WE ARE?!
So far I have gone through two of the big P’s in my life and I have been a witnessed many close women going through the third one. All I can say is that while those times can be tough and testing- THERE IS HELP OUT THERE and there is most definitely STYLISH SUNLIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Over the years I have realized how much my work is impactful and helpful for women going through these changes. At a time where they are questioning so many things, feeling like they live in somebody elses body, not recognizing themselves in the mirror and struggling to get in to grips with very strong emotions my process can actually provide a road map through these turbulent times:
• We start from scratch
I have created my FRUMP TO FABULOUS BOOTCAMP in a way that helps women re-connect with who they truly are on the inside. We go deep within to re-discover the true person within- get clear on who SHE is, what SHE wants in her life, what are HER values, hopes and dreams, what life does SHE want to live and get super clear on what that actually looks like. Ancient philosopher Epitectus and modern day style icon Iris Apfel both agree on the importance of knowing yourself first
While I wouldn’t dare to argue with ancient philosopher but I disagree with modern day style goddess Miss Apfel regarding the road map- there is one, I’ve used it myself numerous times and my clients have used it to great success- IT WORKS
“Frump to Fabulous was the most amazing thing that could have happened to me in 2020! It made me not only improve my closet but also to get together my thoughts about myself!” (E, Norway)
The ultimate truth is- you can't communicate effectively if you don't know what you are trying to say, so you cannot dress yourself in the most flattering and authentic way if you don't know what you are trying to express. Buying clothes without a clear image of what look you are trying to achieve is like building a house without a blue print- waste of money, time and you will likely be disappointed with the results.
At a time when our heads are spinning with all the changes that are happening to us (whether we like it or not) it's most important to go back within, ground yourself in self assurance and start building from the strongest foundation possible.
• Focus on the Fabulous
Becoming a mother or going through menopause alters a huge chunk of our identity- the old person that we got used to living with (old ME) is gone for ever and we must figure out who that new person is and what that new person wants to look like. This approach gives a woman FOCUS at a time of great emotional turmoil. Instead of grieving and trying to hold on to the person we once were (but will never be again) we get super clear on what the NEW YOU looks like and concentrate on that. Clarity and focus can provide a lot of peace and re-assurance while focusing on the positive and beautiful aspects of your self and your ‘new’ body eliminates fear, overwhelm and sense of loss and frustration.
M told me that one of toughest parts of going through menopause for her was the fact that her body seemed to change ‘overnight’. Suddenly her clothes she had been wearing for years no longer fitted her, her skin tone changed and the black she used to love wearing so much completely washed her out and she completely lost control of her hair. She simply couldn’t recognize herself in the mirror any more and that had a massive affect on her confidence not only in her appearance but in her ability to take care of herself, dress herself and present herself to the world as a confident, successful, elegant woman she knew she was. After initial ‘wobble’ she has moved away from black and now embraces more neutral shades of nude and beige, she got re-acquainted with her new body and learned how to dress it in the most flattering way and once again feels BEAUTIFUL and ATTRACTIVE, but most importantly of all she feels IN CONTROL and AT EASE with herself and that is what I want all women to feel.
• Butterfly effect
In this case I am not talking about the idea used in chaos theory where butterfly flapping her wings in Tokyo can cause a tornado in Tennessee but the idea of re-birthing as a new more fabulous version of YOU. There is very little we can do to control the changes we go through as women (such as the 3 P’s) however, I believe that instead of losing ourselves in the helplessness we can embrace the opportunity to re-emerge from those changes as more confident, more self- assured and happier versions of ourselves. We can use STYLE as a guide to keep us focused on the positive aspects of the journey we are going through. The benefit of that is (just like the original butterfly effect) that by focusing re-connecting with our inner style or more evolved version of it and building a wardrobe with a clear vision of what we want to express in this world and how we want to live our lives going forward we gain new appreciation for our bodies. We get to know ourselves better which leads to making better choices for ourselves, we become more at peace with ourselves which leads to us being a nicer person to be around, which leads to better relationships. We become more confident in ourselves and our goals which leads to us seeing and seizing more opportunities. When we eliminate feeling of loss and overwhelm and replace it with empowerment and excitement we suddenly gain all this energy to embrace and live our lives to the full instead of sitting in the corner painfully self-conscious watching the life go by.
We might not be able to avoid changes but we do have the power to decide how we want to deal with it and what impact we will allow it to have on our lives. So if you are currently in a wobble but you ready to take control and make it into something amazing, get in touch, I AM HERE TO HELP.