How to adapt your wardrobe to a new life style or what is SOUL CENTRED STYLE
Today we are talking about the problem that most of us will or have experienced in our lives- our lives have changed and our wardrobe no longer fits our new lifestyle or new body shape. We all go through this at some point in our lives. As we grow, mature and evolve our style and wardrobe must do the same there for it is understandable that for a short transitional period we might feel a little lost.
Today we are talking about the problem that most of us will or have experienced in our lives- our lives have changed and our wardrobe no longer fits our new lifestyle or new body shape. We all go through this at some point in our lives. We go through pregnancies and our bodies change. We go from being young and free to responsible professionals. As we grow, mature and develop our style and wardrobe must do the same there for it is understandable that for a short transitional period we might feel a little lost.
Looking from a very practical point of view I would advise you should take the same 3 steps you would when building a wardrobe from scratch. Get clear on:
I have covered how to get clear on all those things in the past. Today however I want to focus on the middle one as I believe that it is the one we might struggle with the most. I believe that the core issue women face when trying to transition from one period in their life to another is (at least for a while) not knowing who we are and where we belong. There are two possible scenarios:
1. You are transitioning and your style simply needs a little update
2. You never knew what your style is (because you never knew who you really are)
Scenario no1 would apply to women who might be transitioning from young student in their 20s to a professional in their 30s, someone who recently became a parent and no longer spends as much time in office attire, maybe you changed your job and find that your previous wardrobe is no longer suitable or maybe you retired and you need something to suit your more leisurely lifestyle.
Scenario no2 is a little more tricky. It applies to women who have been playing different roles self-imposed or imposed by others upon them. They might have played the role of a good daughter, good student, hard-working young professional, good wife, good mother… When we play these roles we choose appropriate ‘costumes’. We tailor our attire to what we believe is suitable for that role. As a good student and good daughter instead of ripped jeans and a slogan t-shirt, you might have chosen clean-cut blouses and dresses because you thought that they were more appropriate for that role and your parents and teachers would approve of them more. As a good young professional you might have chosen suites, supermarket slacks and plain blouses because you assumed that this sort of attire is expected and appropriate for that role. As a good wife and mother, you might forgo anything remotely sexy and stick with ill-fitting mom jeans and hoodies. The problem is that playing a role and wearing a costume will never ever be fulfilling and feel natural to you because that is all you are doing- playing a role dresses in a costume. It is not really for you! I found myself in a very similar situation for years. At 21 years of age, I was a full-time student, a mom to a little bundle of joy and partner a much older man. Because I had a child and the responsibilities that came with it, I didn’t really fit in with the student crowd. Because I was only 21 and a student I didn’t really fit in with my partner’s circle who were all in their late 30s and 40s. I tried to juggle both roles- I migrated from wearing jeans and hoodies to wearing demure dresses, cardigans, and heels. To be honest, I didn’t feel particularly comfortable in either because none of them felt natural to me. When you are trying to step into someone else’s shoes you can only do it for so long before you get fed up and exhausted as it is such hard work. I hated shopping because shopping for someone else is no fun at all. Imagine trying to guess what someone you don’t really know might like… I hated going out because getting dresses was too much of a chore. I avoided friends because I just felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I tried to keep social interactions to a minimum so no to prolong the time I had to wear a mask and play a role. My wardrobe was full of random stuff I bought on impulse or because it was on sale. When I finally allowed myself the space to look within and think who the hell I am, everything changed. That is why I am so passionate about this subject and that is why I wanted to focus on this for our motivation Monday.
A little while ago I read this amazing blog post that summed it all up so beautifully:
‘It’s not always easy to see the beauty in yourself, though. In a world, where we are constantly bombarded with how we should look, feel and live our lives, it takes courage to commit to yourself. It requires you to let go of who you think you should be and allow yourself to feel into who you actually want to be. And that’s when true freedom begins.
Being yourself is liberating, exhilarating and calming at the same time’ (Stylish Female Society)
I don’t think I could put it more beautifully. Imagine feeling:
At ease no matter where you are or who surrounds you
Equal to others
Feeling so comfortable and confident in who you are that decision making of any kind is no longer a torture
Getting dressed in the morning is easy and effortless because everything in your wardrobe fits and you and makes you feel good
Always having something to wear
Enjoying catching your reflection in a window or a mirror
Enjoying going out because you know that you look good
Feeling like you belong in your circle because you no longer play a role or wear a mask
Not feeling the need to compare yourself to others
Not feeling the need to please or impress anyone
These are all the wonderful feelings you can enjoy when you are aligned- when your outer image matches the inner you when you discover and embrace your soul-centered style. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
We always say that a good outfit can give our confidence a major boost and that is true, but inner confidence and genuine smile is the absolute best accessory in the world. So it is a two-way street. You must have heard me say that in order to be truly happy and fulfilled we must take care of our mind, body, and soul. Finding a style that is a true reflection of who you take inner work, soul searching as well as getting to know your body. We can fake confidence for so long, in order for us to be liberated from playing roles and achieve true happiness calm we must start from within
Step 1- getting clear on who you are
Start by making a list of all the positive ‘I am’, ‘I feel’ and ‘I do’ statements.
E.g. I am a mother
I am in mid-thirties
I feel young and cool
I love outdoors
I work from home etc
Once you have your list done, read through it and see what sort of image does that create. If you were reading this about somebody else, what would that person be like, look like?
Step2- get inspired
Once you have a description of who you are you can look for inspiration to see what someone like you might wear. Go to Pinterest or Google and search things like ‘outfit ideas for working mums’ or ‘outfit ideas for female entrepreneur’ or ‘outfit ideas for women in mid 30s/40s/50s’ and see what comes up. Browse through the pictures and see what appeals to you. It is absolutely vital that at this point you think about what speaks to you and what you like and let go of what you think others will think about it. This is your time, you are the boss of you and only your opinion matters! For this process to be a success you must follow your intuition.
Step3- try it
Once you have a selection of images that appeal to you and outfit ideas that speak to you, try them on. Go to the shops and try on some of the things and see how it feels to actually step into the style for yourself. If you look in the mirror you feel great then you have a winner. It is ok to feel a little anxious and apprehensive at this stage as you might still be haunted by the roles you played for so long and you might have some fears about stepping out of your comfort zone. However, as long as you know and accept that those feelings are normal you should feel safe to proceed with your transformation.
Have a lovely day